Louise Roe: Mobbad som tonåring

Plain Jane programledaren berättar hur hon gick vidare...

Vackra, begåvade och framgångsrika programledaren för Plain Jane, Louise Roe, blev mobbad i skolan när hon var tonåring. Här är hennes personliga berättelse om hur det kändes – och hur hon övervann det:

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- When I was 14, I went from being the cool, loud girl at school, to one who cried every night at home, wishing she didn’t have to go back. I remember the day poignantly, when my best friend became my worst nightmare. She had always been a moody, slightly spoiled girl, but we had fun together, and we’d hung out since age 6. One day, she had a tantrum about something insignificant, and instead of ignoring it like usual, I stood up to her. I walked off, and didn’t talk to her for the rest of the day.

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- That was IT. Game over. I had ignited a fury in her, and all her pent-up daddy issues, eating issues, attention-craving issues (I don’t even give a shit what her issues were, that’s never an excuse in my opinion), became unleashed on me. Girls have a very quiet, sly, evil way of bullying. Words and actions cut deeper than punches in many ways, and for me, my confidence plummeted to a level that I never want to experience again. Within a few days, this particular girl had turned 100% of my friends against me, and it was to last – in different levels of intensity – for the next two years. I rode the train to school alone, listening to them cackling about me in the adjacent carriage. One was dared to shout ‘Who hates Louise Roe?’ outdoors at the packed train station – which included all the boys from our neighbouring school – a wave of hands flew in the air and there was a roar as I listened to cries of ‘we do!!!’. from kids I’d hung out with as close friends for years.

- She would walk behind me, close, whispering threats and insults, ‘I’m gonna snap your stupid skinny legs, bitch. You’re nothing.’ You get really good at blinking back that pricking, hot feeling of tears. You blame yourself – I can remember asking myself incessantly, ‘what can I do differently? How can I be popular again? I’ll change anything about myself if it means she’ll like me again.’ At times it feels like there is no way out, and that there will never be a way out. But I would not let her see me cry. Ever. The tears were saved for my mum and dad at the end of each day, who stood looking over me, they were hurting and worried, but pretty much helpless in what they could do.

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- But you know what? In time, things do start to change. I began playing a lot more sport, and grew some new friends in the netball and lacrosse teams. We began reading an incredible book in English class, for anyone who’s ever been affected by bullying this is a must, Cat’s Eye by Margaret Atwood. This gave me a lot of strength, I started to think deeper about what was really going on. I started to realise that perhaps it was HER, not me, who was the insecure coward. Age 16, she left the school, my prayers were answered, and life went back to normal.

- But now, looking back, I take two positive things from my experience. I was humbled by it, I learned to be more accepting of and welcoming to the stereotypical but eclectic groups in schools – the nerds, the jocks, the drama queens, the cheerleading types. Before what happened, I was definitely on the cocky side, and going through what I did has kept me grounded and empathetic ever since. Secondly, in my job on Plain Jane, I draw on a lot of my old feelings to help the girls each week – some of whom have been bullied and others who just lack the self-belief to be as fabulous as they deserve to be. So it might sound cliché, but every cloud has a silver lining. Life is WAY bigger and better than the stifling corridors of your high school, trust me. Don’t give up, believe in yourself, and cling on to the true, loyal people in your life, a handful of them is all you need…

Missa inte nya säsongen av Plain Jane med Louise Roe som har premiär nu på söndag 18 november 19:00.

Fredag, 16. November 2012